Trying to Understand Yourself? Read This Book!

By Holly

“It’s her four-ness,” I say to my husband as we analyze our youngest daughter’s latest emotional outburst. As the angry man in the aisle seat raises his voice while criticizing the flight attendant to her face, I think about an eight’s comfort with conflict (and wish I could rescue the poor woman from his wrath…). When I find myself intellectualizing my emotions once again, I consider my five tendencies.

After studying the Enneagram this summer, number typing is giving me new glasses to wear. A personality framework that some scholars believe originated as early as the 4th century, the Enneagram consists of nine types represented diagrammatically by interconnected points on a circle. I have a thing for ancient wisdom made new, which is exactly what happened when modern psychologists and theologians added their insights to the nine-pointed diagram in recent years, so the Enneagram, unlike other personality tests, has held my attention for entire season.

My usual pattern is to take a personality assessment, research the framework, think about my results for a week and then move on with my life, feeling enlightened but unchanged. But the Enneagram’s complexity and fluidity has helped me understand myself more deeply and feel more compassion toward others, even the angry passenger in 17C.

When I start speaking in numbers, my ten year-old daughter rolls her eyes and moans, “Mom, you’re obsessed!” I share my excitement with a book-loving friend and she says she tried the Enneagram and it was too gray and complicated. At the same time, other friends and family members find it as fascinating and relatable as I do and we have enjoyed lively, Aha! moment conversations filled with numbers throughout these sunny months. And so it is with personality tests: there is no One Size Fits All.

Enter Reading People, Anne Bogel’s new book. In the middle of my nine-pointed summer, I learned about this new book and thought it was as serendipitous as me and Type Five. Anne (perhaps better known as Modern Mrs. Darcy), a lover of books and personality tests (and an Enneagram Type Nine, in case you are wondering), covers various personality frameworks including the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, Strengthsfinder and more in Reading People. She writes:

“I’ve come to think understanding personality is like holding a good map. That map can’t take you anywhere. It doesn’t change your location; you’re still right where you were before. But the map’s purpose isn’t to move you; it’s to show you the lay of the land. It’s the tool that make it possible for you to get where you want to go.”

Anne recognized the problem of TMI when it comes to personality testing, causing Who-Am-I confusion, paralysis and overwhelm, and she set out to make understanding ourselves more accessible and less intimidating. Alongside her thought-provoking explorations of her favorite tests and theories are vulnerable stories about how she has applied typing to her life. From her journey to unbelief in the old parent-child roll of the dice called “goodness of fit” to her reluctant acceptance that she is more a purveyor of possibilities than layer of plans, we experience the how of personality testing, not just the what in Reading People.

Now I am back to my Enneagram “obsession,” and reading people in numbers. I am also recommending Reading People to anyone interested in learning more about themselves, because while the Enneagram isn’t for everyone, but understanding yourself is.

*You can preorder your copy of Reading People by Anne Bogel before September 19 on Amazon or Indiebound (which is super cool!) and get some pretty cool bonuses! Details here.

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